What is love?

Morning everyone!!!

Yesterday was such a weird day for me. I kind of just didnt do much of anything, it felt really great. I have been on this healthy eating kick and I have been doing really good, Im trying my hardest to get out of the 200 zone and I feel that when I do things will get easier onmy weight loss journey. Last night I just felt so lazy, I really didnt feel like cooking anything so I opted for a salad and a pop tart for dessert. I had every intention of going to work out but something happened...
I was on the phone with Muffin smoking a cigarette outside (my 1st cigarette in 2 days) and I got an incredible cigarette high, I felt like I was seriously drunk or something. I went inside laid down on the couch and was watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, when I just passed out. I got a call from Muffin at around 2 in the morning and I had no clue where I was or what the hell happened? What happened to me? Did the pop tart send me on some weird glutten coma? Was my cigarrete laced? Did waffle put sleep aide in my crystal light? I dont know it could be any of thse but when I woke up I was so disappointed that I didnt get to work out. Today will be a different story!!!

Im so happy today, I dont know how but all of the problems that I have been having recently have just settled themselves. I mean I did have to talk them out and resolve them a bit, and I did ask some good friends for their opinions on the situations so I did have to work a little bit but today I just feel so free. It might be because Im listening to my good mood mix but I feel great. There are somethings that will never go away but I just have to ignore them for now because in the longrun I will not have them in my life. Yesterday I spent most of my time thinking about my wedding to Muffin, thinking about who I really want to invite, thinking about the look and feel of the whole thing and then just thinking about how much I really do love Mark. There have been times within this past year of us being together where I have thought that I was making a wrong choice in loving him, that the distance of him being gone was not going to work for me and that I couldnt handle not being around him all the time but a whole year has gone by and I just know that I love this man with all my heart and soul and I wish he could see the how beautiful and meaningful he is to me. Mark is one of my best friends, he is my partner in crime, he is my lover and he is my life there is nothing more that I want than to spend the rest of my life with him. Hopefully as this year goes by our relationship grows stronger, and our personalities mature. I need him to be more understanding of who Iam, less jealous, less angry and less of a hot head. I wish he could see the world the way I see it, I find beauty in so many things and it takes a lot to bring me down, he needs to free himself of his mental slavery and just be a free spirit like me.

I was browsing someones tumblr looking for more cute small intimate wedding ideas when I came accross this and it just made my heart faint!!!

It was a grade schoolers answer to the questions what is love? how do you know when you are in love or when someone loves you?

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth" - Billy age 4

"Love is when you go ut to eat and give somebody most of your french fries without making them give you any of theirs" - Chrissy age 6


"Love is what makes you smile when you are tired" - Terri age 4


"Love is when mommy makes coffee for daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure that it tastes ok" - Danny age 7


"Love is when you tell a boy you like his shirt and then he wears it everyday" - Noelle age 7

"Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is hondsomer than Brad Pitt" - Chris age 7


"Love is when my grandmother got arthritis, she couldnt bend over and paint her toenails anymore, so my grandfather does it for her all the time. Even when his hands got arthritis too he just loves her that much" - Rebecca age 8


"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you" - Karen age 7



It just amazes me how much children know, I cant wait to have one someday!!!

No apologies

I was actually thinking about apologizing for not doing my Cure for the Monday Blues and then I thought to myself...

FUCK IT!

I know that, that isnt a very pleasant thing to say but I was busy yesterday. I have been under such a great deal of stress and I hide behind this calm, friendly happy facade, but yesterday my body and mind said enough is enough. I really just needed a break. I had been feeling so angry, and sad and disappointed in the way life was turning out for me but I had to hide myself, the monster. Yesterday I wore no makeup, my hair was doing its usual crazy curly thing, I wore glasses and nothing mattered, I felt numb, used and tattered. I needed a break. Working two jobs and living with stress upon stress upon stress took its toll on me. Yesterday was my break. Yesterday I didnt get online to read blogs, I didnt listen to music, I didnt really work either I kind of just sat at my desk thinking of ways to not dwell on the nasty mean side of life and just get back to my happy place.
So I did it I took my break. I went home after work and got dressed up and went out. I needed some retail therapy so I went window shopping at the Galleria. I tried some cute things on, tried some shoes on, went into accessories stores and browsed. I went into the body shop for some aroma therapy, I went into MAC and Sephora to see what I had been missing out on. I sprayed myself with one of my favorite perfumes and that actually improved my mood alot more. Then it was time to move on so I went to Sally's and I bought hair dye, I was tired of looking at my ridiculously grown out roots so I fixed it. Then I had to deep condition my hair, which I did. But Im thinking I might need something else because it really didnt fix the problem, my hair is still crazy fried I need some intensive hair therapy. I finally topped the night off by eating some chicken, watching Black Swan and then having a strawberry ice cream sundae pop tart. Whoop whoop talk about living on the wild side. lol
So no Im not exactly sorry for not posting yesterday, it was a much needed day off, I feel better, things are better and I can finally smile again. So I hope you all understand and if you dont well then fuck off I cant really worry about anyone else anymore. I need to start caring, loving and thinking about me first!!!

Wake up its FRIDAY!!!

So today I woke up a bit inspired. I feel like I need to quit wallowing in self pity and do what I have to do to make myself a better person. I got to see Muffin yesterday for what felt like only an hour and I miss him so much.Now that he has actually been working a lot and eating out less I totally noticed that he is losing weight, which in turn makes me feel really gross about myself. So I have decided that instead of wasting time lounging around the house missing him I'm going to be productive. I'm going to start preparing multiple meals at night for the week when I'm not working at Chuy's and I have the whole night to myself. I'm definitely going to work out in any spare time I might have and I'm just going to focus on taking care of myself.

Goals for the next two months

• I wont be going out driving because I'm bored and spending money on gas

• I'm going to limit my smoking alot more and hopefully one day before I'm 50 I will have rid myself from all forms of smoking.

• I will be taking vitamins daily on top of taking probiotics, digestive enzymes and my daily dose of     B-12

•  I will only be drinking water unless I'm at a restaurant where I have the choice of teas never sodas, I will also be limiting my caffeine intake.

• I will be exercising in every free moment I have, I will try to go walk/jog around memorial park every night unless I'm working at Chuy's because walking at night alone could be quite dangerous

• I will be eating out way less unless its on a date with a girlfriend, muffin or my family

• I will be limiting my drinking alot more because its not that good for me to begin with and its expensive

• I will not be lounging around the house feeling sorry for myself because there are too many things that I could be doing other than that

• I will get back into hoola hooping

• I will try to go to the YMCA at least 3 times a week depending on my work schedule

• I will try to at least (minimum) to put 50 dollars into savings every week

• I will try not to eat junk food but once a week, and not over due it when I do

• I will stop sabotaging myself and not do harmful things to my body, I will not be self destructive again.

I decided to come up with a plan to better myself and my body. I feel like I have such a toxic body that its starting to affect my happiness and way of life, so if I start to eat better and take care of myself everything else will just fall into place. I feel like at 24 its time to grow up, use my brain and mature my life style. My health isn't the only thing that will improve by October you will see a happier more stable Christian Renee. I don't want to be depressed, angry or stressed out all the time anymore. I definitely don't want it to affect my relationship with Muffin, so I'm making this change before I spiral down again. I deserve to be happy, and its not just going to come knocking on my apartment door one day. I have to make that change and I start now.

Wish me luck guy because I know its going to be a long hard bumpy ride!!! I hope you have a great weekend, I know I will.

Its Cupcake and Muffin's 1 year anni tomorrow hopefully we get to see each other, I'm really really wanting to go see Rise of the Planet of the Apes... hopefully I do.

Muffin and Cupcake are heading to the chapel

So I'm sitting here super excited that everyone is on board of our idea of just eloping. I know there are some dear friends that I wish could come and be there for the both of us but we will completely understand if you just simple cant.

I just felt like we were getting so far away from what the purpose of a wedding really was, that it didn't even make any sense to me anymore. Weddings are supposed to be about love, the couple and close ones. I know we are both silly goofy ass people but our wedding was getting to be more about " I think this is fun", "lets do this for them", "lets hope they aren't bored" when it should really be more about Mark and I and ho much we love each other. I felt like I was just dragging all of the fun elements about each other and making a great big party, when in reality we are there to support and cherish the love I have for Muffin. So I was feeling extremely overwhelmed by the monster wedding and I had to get away. I figured that eloping was the answer. I was also inspired to stick with my decision by this cute little elopement

The plan is to send some cute save the dates sometime in December to let people know that we will not be having a wedding here in  Houston, but we will be getting married elsewhere. So for the people who want to come out to support us, are more than welcome and it gives them enough time to start saving.

For the people that will not be able to attend our wedding ceremony there will be invitations to bachelor and bachelorette parties and a great big couple shower. Where we will receive our wedding gifts and we will have great food, music, alcohol, friends and lots and lots of fun.

When I first started planning my wedding I wanted it to be in the fall, its my favorite season and living in Houston is bearable again!!! I picked October because in other states that are not Texas they actually have beautiful seasonal foliage and great weather and that is what I always dreamed of. So now planning our elopement is like my dream to get married in beautiful fall is really coming true. I really wanted to get married somewhere where the leaves change colors and fall really feels like fall. At first I was really considering Nashville Tennessee because that's where Muffin and I will be honeymooning it up at. Since I haven't found a church or a Chapel, that doesn't look like a scene from Steel Magnolias I was really considering giving up and just going to the JP. Seriously some of those chapels are beautiful but are ruined with all the gaudy bunting, and silk flowers and crap crap crap!!!

Well ladies and gents I have found my chapel of my dreams...

*drum roll please*

Its Palmer Chapel in North Carolina Cataloochee
Its small, old, cute and white and I'm totally in freaking love. I saw pictures of the inside and its exactly what I have been imagining this whole time. I cant wait to be in my little white dress with my handsome Muffin waiting by the altar and I am being walked in by my mother and grandfather. Its going to be beautiful and intimate and I just cant wait.

Its beautiful and I cant wait, I'm really liking this plan so much better and I'm glad everyone agrees with me. At first I thought that it should only be me and Muffin but I know that there are some great family and friends out there that would totally not want to miss our wedding so this is an opportunity for everyone that can make it and really really wants to be there to support us can totally do so. I love you guys and I cant wait to see you guys at Palmer Chapel.

Exciting new chapter in the life of Cupcake and Muffin

Morning Everyone!!!

I had a super duper exciting night last night. I went out with 2 very awesome ladies... Stephanie and Shelby and we got "SLEAZY"  with KE$HA. it was actually alot of fun. I was having a bad day and I was going to cancel on them but I talked to one very special girlfriend and she convinced me to go. THANK YOU SOOO MUCH  FALICIA!!!

Anyways we got to see LMFAO, we werent expecting that one. They were amazing I was blindsided by their performance lol I thought they were just a bunch of goofey mofos but they were freaking good and made everyone just want to dance. I couldnt help but smile when they dance because Muffin has some of those exact dance moves and it just made me smile thinking about how cute and goofy Muffin is! KE$HA on the other hand... no bueno! I know she headlined the tour and I love the trashy girl to death but her stage presence sucked. She wasnt energetic, she wasnt even singing and she looked like she wasnt even trying, I was very disappointed. She did sing one of my favorite songs and ate a heart and had a mouth drpping with blood which was awesome but other than that LMFAO stole the show.
I made a playlist of my favorite songs from last night :) takes me back.
I was actually freaking out about how much refreshments are these days. 1. freaking beer was $12, a yard margarita which had little to no alcohol was $15 I mean seriously what do you people think we are made of? At least Shelby was there to pitch in to buy me my second beer!!! I only brought in a certain amount of money thinking it would be enough, but the woodlands thinks that just because we want to get sleazy with KE$HA we are made of money. Thanks Shelby for helping me get intoxicated I love you!!!

So now its time for some wedding gossip

Wedding Gossip

Muffin and I had a talk last night and I pitched in an idea and he loved it and I love it and I think its what we are going to go for!!!

We decided that our wedding was straying too far from what a wedding is supposed to be about so the new plan is...

We are going to get married in a quaint little white chappel in TN and everyone is invited, if you can come you are more than welcome. For those that do come we will have dinner and party all night long!!! I want it to be a quaint intimate affair. We are still dressing 50s and it will be awesome! The wedding date is still Oct 27, 2012 and we are sending out Save the dates close to November of this year so whoever wants to come to our wedding can start to save up. For those of you that cant come we are having a bachalor and bachalorette party each and we will be having a bridal BBQ with awesome food and drinks and friends and family and love. I couldnt be happier about our decision and Im glad I have some family members and friends on board with it already!!!

I cant wait, Oct 2012 please be good to us!!!

Fashion Inspiration

Recently I have been obsessed with changing my look to a more sophisticated version of me!!! I think my style Icons are going to totally inspire my tranformation into the hip 25's lol. Im so nervous about turning 25 this year I think I need a change in looks and hopefully my transformation is a success.

I think once Im in my right frame of mind and done with all this mind fuck business I will be ready to get back into fashion. I love fashion, clothes, accessories, makeup and shoes; its one of my passions. I think its time to feed the cravings!!!

Do you see what Im thinking? Im getting sooo excited about fall and winter I really have to start having fun with what I wear and how I look. I need to be more creative and just love myself and that starts now!!!

talk to you guys later, Im letting my creative juices flow!

Cure for the Monday Blues

This weeks cure for the Monday Blues is a good one. I definately had a rough weekend so waking up this morning was really painful. I really needed some happiness this morning

1. Waffle

I miss my adorable gatito!!!

He is the sweetest little guy in the world and I wish he could be with me right now I miss him so much. But soon I will have the money for a pet deposit and we will never be separated again!!!

2. Jackie Onassis style

She was elegant and classic. I think her look could easily be worn today and I thought she was a great fashion icon!!!

3. Polyvore

omg these are some of my favorite sets. Playing and exploring on Polyvore has made me so excited about clothes again!!!

4. Chuy's

5. Hanging out with my friends

6. Being in my clean apartment

7. Getting away from the dogs for a good while

8. Birthday Cake Ice cream from Marble Slab

9. Thinking about my 1 yr anniversary with my muffin

10. Dreaming about my future life removing att the negativity and things that might sour my dream world