Thursday, November 4, 2010

Im not scared of the dark, Im scared of whats in the dark.

Ok so I’m sitting here in the office bored to death so I figured I could work on my blog. So as of today Mark (the love of my life) has been gone for a month and I miss him so much. He is in the oil construction field so he usually has to travel a lot. Right now he is in Oklahoma while Iam stuck in my ordinary little office job in the Spring Branch are of Houston, Texas as a receptionist for a landscaping company. I just want him home as soon as possible and I think I still have to wait 12 more days till he comes home. Let the countdown for his arrival begin now. Im really hoping that he gets home earlier than that and just surprises me at my office *wishful thinking*
Well one of the reasons I want him home so bad is because I just moved into my very own apartment at least 45 mins away from my parents house. I’ve never lived alone so this is a big scary change for me. I live in a pretty good neighborhood I’m like 5 mins away from Montrose (the GAYborhood in Houston) and the area I live in has pretty much college kids and people my age so I enjoy it. I guess the problem for me is that a lot of creepy things have been happening to me lately.
Ok well let me give you the background… ever since I was 15 I started seeing things and experiencing really creepy things. I lived with my parents and I was going through my “Goth” phase so I boarded up my window and kept it super dark in my room all the time. I also had a bunch of voodoo dolls and creepy “goth” dolls, dolls without eyes, dolls that were dead and came with death certificates everything morbid I had and displayed in my room. Ok so knowing that with all the darkness there really wouldn’t be any shadow castings anywhere in my room but I would always see things, figures of people in my room. I started to become afraid of sleeping in my own room because I would see a figure of a really tall man always standing at the edge of my bed watching me sleep, he would walk around the room but in the end always ended up at the end of my bed. There was also another one I would see he was shorter and over weight and he stayed closer to the door of my room. I know I sound crazy but ITS TRUE! I started sleeping with an eye mask because I thought I was imagining things and I didn’t want my family to think I was crazy so I blocked it out for a couple of weeks with a sleeping mask. Then the whispering started. I was laying down about to fall asleep when I heard people talking in my room, I thought my mom was in my room so I took off the mask and sat up but I was alone. I tried to go back to sleep but it was closer to my ear then and I couldn’t understand it, it was louder and very fast and it sounded like gibberish and this went on for some time. I started sleeping in the living room because I couldn’t handle my room anymore but I didn’t want my parents to think I was a chicken and I was scared of the dark. So then like a month went by and it was the day before my birthday and I was on the phone with a friend and when I hung up I was laying down and I  got up to turn off the light and then laid back down. I was about to fall asleep when I heard a book fall from my book case, so of course I get up and turn on the light but there was nothing on the floor everything was in its proper place. So I laid back down then I hear it again and as Im going to get up I can’t freaking move. I feel this awful pressure on my chest and I can’t breath and something is holding me down. My eyes were wide open and I saw nothing, I tried to scream and yell but nothing came out, I tried to breathe but something was suffocating me I felt like I was going to pass out I couldn’t handle it anymore and I was giving up but then I started praying in my head the “Our Father” and it all stopped before I could even finish the prayer. I could move again as soon as I realized this I ran to the freaking door and I tried to open it but it wouldn’t open and I cant lock my door so I started freaking out and crying and praying as loud as I could through the sobs and it worked I was free. I’m not a catholic and I really don’t feel like I belong to any particular religion but I was brought up Catholic and those prayers are what helped me at that moment. The next day the boards came down so I could have some sunlight and everything that I thought had a negative feel to it went in a box and into the attic. After that big incident other creepy things that I wont get into happened but very sporadically until now.
Now that I moved into my new place I completely forgot about all the weird crap from the past and its happening all over again. I feel scared all the time, I hear things, I see the shadows everywhere not just in my apartment. I see them in the office and that’s what scares me because whatever it is it wants my attention and ignoring it just pisses it off and now it’s getting louder.
Things that have happened are super creepy! I don’t like to talk about them but I think I need to talk to a psychic, and get my house cleansed because Iam so scared now. A Wiccan friend of mine tells me to see it as a gift and try to help those that are trying to reach out to me, but I just want to live in peace and be happy I want things to go back to being normal where I don’t feel like Im losing my mind and Im not scared of the dark or whats lurking in there.

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