Constant sorrow...heartaches... disappointment

I feel awful today, its not like a sickly awful its more of like I really don't feel like getting out of bed or trying anymore awful. I wish I could change that and just feel normal and happy all the time. I've tried, recently I tried to fake it till I make it but things just seem to be getting harder and harder for me. I have made a big big decision that will probably cost me in the long run and I'm not happy at all. I have decided to quit my job and go back to work at Starbucks and work at Chuy's full time right before school starts. There are a lot of factors as to why I just don't want to be here anymore but it all boils down to I'm not happy here anymore, I feel like I'm just wasting my time. But I will not be working here come October, I know things are going to be harder working 2 jobs and getting paid less and having to go to school but hopefully being with people who love me will help me in this time of depression. I just feel so fucking lost right now. There are so many thing that are stressing me out right now, my car, my wedding dress, my financial situation and my living situation I just don't know where to start. I guess we already talked about my financial situation next on the list would be my fucking car. I have had that car for 4 yrs and now that I'm almost done paying it and I'm in dire straits it decides that it cant go on. I have to work twice as hard right now and I'm definately going to need my car now more than ever and its just falling apart. I don't really think my car will make it to the end of the fucking year and I have no idea what the fuck I'm going to to. I cant get another car right now, I don't have the money for a down payment, I haven't finished paying this one off and I cant even trade it in because its in my moms name and her credit is so fucked there really isnt any way she can help me. I am so scared that its going to die any day now and I need it to just be a trooper and last me for at least 4 more years. My living situation... well as of right now I'm living in my apartment. Mark and I were going to move into a really nice apartment at the complex we were looking at, he talked to a leasing agent on Monday and he was going to go on Saturday to sign the lease. Well he went this morning and it turns out that another dumb ass mother fucking leasing agent rented our apartment out and now yet again I have to compromise for a smaller fucking apartment that I don't want. It feels like I always have to compromise that's all I fucking do in life and I'm so fucking tired of it. I was so excited about our apartment and look where that fucking got me... disappointed, so whats the use of getting excited over anything it all seems to just lead to disappointment as of right now. Now my dress... well I already know what I want my dress to look like and I went to go see a seamstress yesterday and she told me straight up that she just couldn't do it. Seriously?! What kind of seamstress are you? My dress is so fucking simple I just don't understand how you cant make it. What she really meant to say is that she only likes to make traditional big poofy ass wedding dresses and I'm not that kind of girl, I know what I want and I'm not going to give up my dream wedding dress for a generic wedding dress that is easier for you to make. I know the look that I want for my wedding I don't have to compromise that for anyone and I'm not going to. So today An is coming over after work, we are going to go shop around for someone that can make my dress, get a little tipsy and watch some movies and just chill out and see if that will make me feel a little better. I'm done with people, I'm done compromising, I'm done being nice and trusting because its gotten me nowhere. So fuck it! So I guess this is going to be my last post until I start feeling like I give a shit again because right now my blog is the last thing on my mind. 

thank you all who read this and I am so sorry .

feeling inspirational

Omg I am so ready for this weekend. I dont know I feel very inspired. I want to work out like a crazy person this weekend. I want to go for a really long hike alone. I want to go and lay under a tree on a blanket with some bug spray and a good book. I mean school starts in exactly 54 days. I am so stoked, but when that happens that also means that I will not have as much free time as Id like to have. So I have to make the most of it now. Im feeling super inspired on a Friday so here are the things that are inspiring me today...

1. Hilary Duff on her wedding Day

This gorgeous dress and bouqet

This adorable drink dispencer and the pink sugar rimmed glasses

Hooray for Diner food YUMM

This awesome backyard set up SOOO DREAMY

How I plan out my life with Muffin

This adorable hairstyle

Zooey Deshanel

always inspiring to me



Cutie Patootie

This is what will inspire me to look and feel better everyday!



Have a great weekend dolls

The great cupcake charlie brown

So yesterday was not a day of relaxation. I took the day off yesterday to take care of things that were pending and I got everything done. I feel very very accomplished, even though now I'm going to be 8 hrs short on a check, that's the only suck ass part. After all was said and done I was driving home when I saw the "what's Up Cupcake trailer parked outside of one of the clubs on Washington. Muffin and I have seen it before and the idea of selling a cupcake out of  a 1954 Boles Aero Trailer is quite intriguing so I definitely had to pull over and get into some of that cupcake action. The cupcakes were 3 bucks each and they had some flavors I have heard of but never tried so... I figured I could get two, to test them out and see whats up. I got the Nutella one and Strawberry Limeade. I took my babies home, had a mini photo sesh with them and then ate one. The first one to go was the Nutella one. It was very sweet and just OK. It fell short of flavor and it wasn't even moist. Totally threw half of it away. I love love love cupcakes, they are a very integral part of me so I have to try every new flavor, and from every bakery possible. Cupcakes are meant to be a personal dessert, they take time and patience to decorate one small little cake for one person. they are my favorite dessert and I love a good presentation. These cupcakes had a good presence but they lacked flavor. I love Strawberry cupcakes, its my favorite cake but this was dis-gus-ting!.  Needless to say no one beats Crave cupcakes, they are hands down kick your ass good and everyone else just falls short. The only thing that I liked about What's up Cupcake was the name and the trailer, the trailer just tugs and tugs at my gypsy heartstrings. If you could travel and eat in the trailer that would be awesome too, like a travelling dessert diner... AWESOMENESS.

My excitement equals no one to talk to

Iam so stoked. I just got off the phone with the wonderful lady who will be taking on the project of making my wedding dress. I have never been more excited in my life. Now that we have the place where we are to wed I feel like everything is falling into place so now is the perfect time to start designing my dress. As you all know there are things that will be inspiring our wedding.

Rockabilly, 50s, Diners, Zombies, Picnics, Sweets and everything girly(just for me)

For  our wedding Muffin and I decided that we have a dress code... 50s attire only, I think its fun and there are so many crative things you can do with it.  So its only fitting that Muffin and I play the 50s part too, so my dress is going to be so much fun. I cant wait. Its so interesting... when I started this planning I had hoped for a Spring wedding in summer but now Im having a fall wedding. My favorite time of the year, I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner. The place that we booked is so beautiful and we are going to have so much fun having our day come to life. With all the changes our color palette for this day has changed a bit, but not too much

. The decorations are still the same but the venue is so beautiful that we really don't need much. I can't wait I can't believe we found this adorable place here in Texas, who knew. I'm so excited to be able to share all my annoying excitement here, anywhere else and I probably wouldn't have any people who would want to talk to me!

Happy One Year

This weekend was one of the best weekends I have had in a really long time.
Saturday Muffin and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary and it was amazing. I really cant believe 1 year has already gone by. I love him so much, I thank God for bringing him into my life at a time when everything just seemed so hopeless and I needed someone that I could really count on.
So I was scheduled to work at Chuy's at night but I talked to one of the managers and she apparently took care of everything for me. THANK GOD!
So Saturday after our green chili fest meeting Muffin and I had to travel an hr away to go take a look at a reception place that I really needed to see in person. Online it looked like just what I have been hunting for. A cute chapel a really nice reception place and a beautiful landscape all in one. The place sold itself to Mark, who is the final decision maker and I am just tickled pink that we finally have our dream place. The only thing we really have to worry about now is catering, everything else I have under control. hopefully after I talk to my brides maids I have them all on board, I am just so happy that now we can really start planning our "Lovefest". I have a feeling that our wedding will be everything that I was hoping for and more and I cant wait to start crafting and making the cute center pieces and really get my decorations for the reception done. There are so many ideas that I have for the whole thing I cant wait.
OK OK just so you guys know I will be talking a bit more about our wedding and how the planning is going a lot more now that we have the place down, it all just seems so real now.
OK anyways so after all that I felt like we needed a nap so we came home and we slept for like an hour and a half and I had to get ready for our dinner and a movie. He made reservations for us at Maggianos and it was beautiful, and tasty and so romantic. we of course did take a few pics...

 

After dinner we went to go see Rise of the Planet of the Apes which was so good. I don't care what people say, that movie was amazing. I really liked it there were certain parts in which I did sneak a tear or two without letting Muffin know, it was good. Then it was time to come home and snuggle and just love on each other for the few hours we had left. It was such a good night I cried and freaked Muffin out. I just felt so loved by him and I knew that it was going to end soon and I was going to have to wait a whole week to see him again. I hate that, I definitely cant wait till we have our very own apartment where he really wont have to listen to anyone and just be with me all the time because its OUR apartment. Its going to be so lovely, come on October I'm so ready for you.

Cure for the Monday Blues

Yay MONDAY. Im so happy today, I just woke up in such an amazing mood. Im supposed to go get my hair cut today but Im still debating it. I don't know Im so scared to cut it because Im really trying to grow it out but its just not growing whatsoever :(
I had one of the best weekends ever,but that will come later. Right now I must get on with my usual post of the Cure for the Monday Blues.

1. This wonderful man that will soon be my husband

2.This adorable wedding cake topper that Im going to remake to go with our wedding

3. These super sexy shoes that Im thinking about getting as my wedding shoes

4.Closing the deal on our wonderful Reception place with Muffin this Weekend.
We officially know where exactly we are having the wedding, so let the wedding planning begin :) We are keeping it a secret for now the only clue I can give out is this

5.This adorable wedding shoot

6. This is what I want my hair to look like for my wedding minus the teal color, Im pretty sure Muffin wont like that

7.This super cute wedding dress and the tights of her brides maids

8.This flask idea for my girls

9.This awesome eye liner

10. Celebrating one wonderful year of being with Muffin

Bad day please go away

So yesterday I was in a pretty good mood, I was listening to my good mood play list for most of the day and then decided to switch it up and listen to Korn. I had forgotten how much I actually loved that band. Their first CD will always be my favorite, when I would feel like such an outcast in high school, they were my best friends and that CD helped my cope with how mean high school girls can be. Seriously I think your teen years are what shape you. I was such a nerdy little depressed, angry girl when I was in high school. I never thought I was pretty, I didn't think I was worth while, I didn't attempt to date I was just weird. I focused more on other things. I was the funny girl, I was super sarcastic and weird, I knew more about art and music than anything else. That awkwardness is what makes me , me now. I'm not shy anymore, I'm not socially awkward, I can talk to anyone and make friends easily, I have a wide range of taste in music, I know a lot about makeup and fashion and I am beautiful. I love myself now more than I ever did and I know I am worth more than anything. I cant believe how far I have come, and that CD made me remember how hard my teen years were and what helped me cope. Now when I'm having problems with girls anywhere I feel like Korn will be there for me.

On other news I freaking had an accident yesterday after work. I was pulling out from the street I work on into a busy street. I didn't see anyone coming except an 18 wheeler that was turning onto the street I was coming from. So I go for it apparently that truck blocked more of the street view than I thought because I almost hit a Ford Ranger. Luckily I slammed on my breaks and so did he. It all happened so slowly and if he would have swerved over he probably wouldn't of hit me. He just scraped the front of my car with the front of his truck and tore off my license plate. But the mother fucker wanted to file a report since it was in a company car, now I just have to wait and see what the fuck is going to happen. Its sad because I was trying so hard to not swell on the bad that everything was going to be OK and then this shit happened. I'm really hoping that today is a much better day. I will be going to work at Chuy's tonight, Hopefully its a good night and I get to work with the people I like to talk to. Maybe I might stay after work and have a drink. I know they all like to go get drinks outside of Chuy's on Fridays. I might join them today, but maybe not. I might be too tired and I will be having Muffin come over in  the morning and I will be having to get up super early for our green chili festival meeting at Chuys. All I'm asking for is a good day!

A Sunday kind of Love

Ive been listening to this playlist all morning an it just makes me so happy, I cant describe why. A coworker of mine says that it makes him kind of sad, but I guess thats what makes me me and this playlist makes my heart want to dance around naked!!!



Im so happy that things between Muffin and I are great, I love him so much. I just cant wait to marry him. who wouldve thought that me Christian Renee would ever be married. My idea of a perfect life back in college was...

Me  a makeup artist/ photographer living in a loft in NYC working for Vogue with other great makeup artists. Working during the day, making good money and living like a fashionista should at night. Going to parties and just having fun. That was me I didnt want a husband, a dog, a cat, or a baby, not even a house. I wanted to go from guy to guy never commiting and just having fun.

Look at me now 3 years later. Working at a landscaping company, living in an apartment in the greater heights, with a chubby little cat and I am now engaged. I can believe how much my life has changed since I have met Muffin. I hardly drink these days, I dont smoke anything but cigarretes and now I see myself planning a future home for not just me for "US". I wouldnt change it for the world. He encourages me to go after what I want, if it wasnt for his encouragement and his offers to help me pay for school I probably wouldnt besigned up to go to Aveda this October. I love my life as of right now. I love having him in my small universe. I cant wait to get married, share our happiness with our close family and friends,  go on our honeymoon, buy our first furniture set, buy our first bedroom set, buy our first home, have our first dinner party, go on many vacations with him and have our first child. These are the best years of my life and Iam so happy Iam sharing them with a person that loves me so much. Trust me come October Im not letting anything come between me and Muffin. I will fight anyone who comes near lol.


Lol I love you guys, Thank you to everyone that reads this I love you small group of people and I really appreciate you taking time out of your busy day to see whats going on in my life.

What is love?

Morning everyone!!!

Yesterday was such a weird day for me. I kind of just didnt do much of anything, it felt really great. I have been on this healthy eating kick and I have been doing really good, Im trying my hardest to get out of the 200 zone and I feel that when I do things will get easier onmy weight loss journey. Last night I just felt so lazy, I really didnt feel like cooking anything so I opted for a salad and a pop tart for dessert. I had every intention of going to work out but something happened...
I was on the phone with Muffin smoking a cigarette outside (my 1st cigarette in 2 days) and I got an incredible cigarette high, I felt like I was seriously drunk or something. I went inside laid down on the couch and was watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, when I just passed out. I got a call from Muffin at around 2 in the morning and I had no clue where I was or what the hell happened? What happened to me? Did the pop tart send me on some weird glutten coma? Was my cigarrete laced? Did waffle put sleep aide in my crystal light? I dont know it could be any of thse but when I woke up I was so disappointed that I didnt get to work out. Today will be a different story!!!

Im so happy today, I dont know how but all of the problems that I have been having recently have just settled themselves. I mean I did have to talk them out and resolve them a bit, and I did ask some good friends for their opinions on the situations so I did have to work a little bit but today I just feel so free. It might be because Im listening to my good mood mix but I feel great. There are somethings that will never go away but I just have to ignore them for now because in the longrun I will not have them in my life. Yesterday I spent most of my time thinking about my wedding to Muffin, thinking about who I really want to invite, thinking about the look and feel of the whole thing and then just thinking about how much I really do love Mark. There have been times within this past year of us being together where I have thought that I was making a wrong choice in loving him, that the distance of him being gone was not going to work for me and that I couldnt handle not being around him all the time but a whole year has gone by and I just know that I love this man with all my heart and soul and I wish he could see the how beautiful and meaningful he is to me. Mark is one of my best friends, he is my partner in crime, he is my lover and he is my life there is nothing more that I want than to spend the rest of my life with him. Hopefully as this year goes by our relationship grows stronger, and our personalities mature. I need him to be more understanding of who Iam, less jealous, less angry and less of a hot head. I wish he could see the world the way I see it, I find beauty in so many things and it takes a lot to bring me down, he needs to free himself of his mental slavery and just be a free spirit like me.

I was browsing someones tumblr looking for more cute small intimate wedding ideas when I came accross this and it just made my heart faint!!!

It was a grade schoolers answer to the questions what is love? how do you know when you are in love or when someone loves you?

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth" - Billy age 4

"Love is when you go ut to eat and give somebody most of your french fries without making them give you any of theirs" - Chrissy age 6


"Love is what makes you smile when you are tired" - Terri age 4


"Love is when mommy makes coffee for daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure that it tastes ok" - Danny age 7


"Love is when you tell a boy you like his shirt and then he wears it everyday" - Noelle age 7

"Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is hondsomer than Brad Pitt" - Chris age 7


"Love is when my grandmother got arthritis, she couldnt bend over and paint her toenails anymore, so my grandfather does it for her all the time. Even when his hands got arthritis too he just loves her that much" - Rebecca age 8


"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you" - Karen age 7



It just amazes me how much children know, I cant wait to have one someday!!!

No apologies

I was actually thinking about apologizing for not doing my Cure for the Monday Blues and then I thought to myself...

FUCK IT!

I know that, that isnt a very pleasant thing to say but I was busy yesterday. I have been under such a great deal of stress and I hide behind this calm, friendly happy facade, but yesterday my body and mind said enough is enough. I really just needed a break. I had been feeling so angry, and sad and disappointed in the way life was turning out for me but I had to hide myself, the monster. Yesterday I wore no makeup, my hair was doing its usual crazy curly thing, I wore glasses and nothing mattered, I felt numb, used and tattered. I needed a break. Working two jobs and living with stress upon stress upon stress took its toll on me. Yesterday was my break. Yesterday I didnt get online to read blogs, I didnt listen to music, I didnt really work either I kind of just sat at my desk thinking of ways to not dwell on the nasty mean side of life and just get back to my happy place.
So I did it I took my break. I went home after work and got dressed up and went out. I needed some retail therapy so I went window shopping at the Galleria. I tried some cute things on, tried some shoes on, went into accessories stores and browsed. I went into the body shop for some aroma therapy, I went into MAC and Sephora to see what I had been missing out on. I sprayed myself with one of my favorite perfumes and that actually improved my mood alot more. Then it was time to move on so I went to Sally's and I bought hair dye, I was tired of looking at my ridiculously grown out roots so I fixed it. Then I had to deep condition my hair, which I did. But Im thinking I might need something else because it really didnt fix the problem, my hair is still crazy fried I need some intensive hair therapy. I finally topped the night off by eating some chicken, watching Black Swan and then having a strawberry ice cream sundae pop tart. Whoop whoop talk about living on the wild side. lol
So no Im not exactly sorry for not posting yesterday, it was a much needed day off, I feel better, things are better and I can finally smile again. So I hope you all understand and if you dont well then fuck off I cant really worry about anyone else anymore. I need to start caring, loving and thinking about me first!!!

Wake up its FRIDAY!!!

So today I woke up a bit inspired. I feel like I need to quit wallowing in self pity and do what I have to do to make myself a better person. I got to see Muffin yesterday for what felt like only an hour and I miss him so much.Now that he has actually been working a lot and eating out less I totally noticed that he is losing weight, which in turn makes me feel really gross about myself. So I have decided that instead of wasting time lounging around the house missing him I'm going to be productive. I'm going to start preparing multiple meals at night for the week when I'm not working at Chuy's and I have the whole night to myself. I'm definitely going to work out in any spare time I might have and I'm just going to focus on taking care of myself.

Goals for the next two months

• I wont be going out driving because I'm bored and spending money on gas

• I'm going to limit my smoking alot more and hopefully one day before I'm 50 I will have rid myself from all forms of smoking.

• I will be taking vitamins daily on top of taking probiotics, digestive enzymes and my daily dose of     B-12

•  I will only be drinking water unless I'm at a restaurant where I have the choice of teas never sodas, I will also be limiting my caffeine intake.

• I will be exercising in every free moment I have, I will try to go walk/jog around memorial park every night unless I'm working at Chuy's because walking at night alone could be quite dangerous

• I will be eating out way less unless its on a date with a girlfriend, muffin or my family

• I will be limiting my drinking alot more because its not that good for me to begin with and its expensive

• I will not be lounging around the house feeling sorry for myself because there are too many things that I could be doing other than that

• I will get back into hoola hooping

• I will try to go to the YMCA at least 3 times a week depending on my work schedule

• I will try to at least (minimum) to put 50 dollars into savings every week

• I will try not to eat junk food but once a week, and not over due it when I do

• I will stop sabotaging myself and not do harmful things to my body, I will not be self destructive again.

I decided to come up with a plan to better myself and my body. I feel like I have such a toxic body that its starting to affect my happiness and way of life, so if I start to eat better and take care of myself everything else will just fall into place. I feel like at 24 its time to grow up, use my brain and mature my life style. My health isn't the only thing that will improve by October you will see a happier more stable Christian Renee. I don't want to be depressed, angry or stressed out all the time anymore. I definitely don't want it to affect my relationship with Muffin, so I'm making this change before I spiral down again. I deserve to be happy, and its not just going to come knocking on my apartment door one day. I have to make that change and I start now.

Wish me luck guy because I know its going to be a long hard bumpy ride!!! I hope you have a great weekend, I know I will.

Its Cupcake and Muffin's 1 year anni tomorrow hopefully we get to see each other, I'm really really wanting to go see Rise of the Planet of the Apes... hopefully I do.

Muffin and Cupcake are heading to the chapel

So I'm sitting here super excited that everyone is on board of our idea of just eloping. I know there are some dear friends that I wish could come and be there for the both of us but we will completely understand if you just simple cant.

I just felt like we were getting so far away from what the purpose of a wedding really was, that it didn't even make any sense to me anymore. Weddings are supposed to be about love, the couple and close ones. I know we are both silly goofy ass people but our wedding was getting to be more about " I think this is fun", "lets do this for them", "lets hope they aren't bored" when it should really be more about Mark and I and ho much we love each other. I felt like I was just dragging all of the fun elements about each other and making a great big party, when in reality we are there to support and cherish the love I have for Muffin. So I was feeling extremely overwhelmed by the monster wedding and I had to get away. I figured that eloping was the answer. I was also inspired to stick with my decision by this cute little elopement

The plan is to send some cute save the dates sometime in December to let people know that we will not be having a wedding here in  Houston, but we will be getting married elsewhere. So for the people who want to come out to support us, are more than welcome and it gives them enough time to start saving.

For the people that will not be able to attend our wedding ceremony there will be invitations to bachelor and bachelorette parties and a great big couple shower. Where we will receive our wedding gifts and we will have great food, music, alcohol, friends and lots and lots of fun.

When I first started planning my wedding I wanted it to be in the fall, its my favorite season and living in Houston is bearable again!!! I picked October because in other states that are not Texas they actually have beautiful seasonal foliage and great weather and that is what I always dreamed of. So now planning our elopement is like my dream to get married in beautiful fall is really coming true. I really wanted to get married somewhere where the leaves change colors and fall really feels like fall. At first I was really considering Nashville Tennessee because that's where Muffin and I will be honeymooning it up at. Since I haven't found a church or a Chapel, that doesn't look like a scene from Steel Magnolias I was really considering giving up and just going to the JP. Seriously some of those chapels are beautiful but are ruined with all the gaudy bunting, and silk flowers and crap crap crap!!!

Well ladies and gents I have found my chapel of my dreams...

*drum roll please*

Its Palmer Chapel in North Carolina Cataloochee
Its small, old, cute and white and I'm totally in freaking love. I saw pictures of the inside and its exactly what I have been imagining this whole time. I cant wait to be in my little white dress with my handsome Muffin waiting by the altar and I am being walked in by my mother and grandfather. Its going to be beautiful and intimate and I just cant wait.

Its beautiful and I cant wait, I'm really liking this plan so much better and I'm glad everyone agrees with me. At first I thought that it should only be me and Muffin but I know that there are some great family and friends out there that would totally not want to miss our wedding so this is an opportunity for everyone that can make it and really really wants to be there to support us can totally do so. I love you guys and I cant wait to see you guys at Palmer Chapel.

Exciting new chapter in the life of Cupcake and Muffin

Morning Everyone!!!

I had a super duper exciting night last night. I went out with 2 very awesome ladies... Stephanie and Shelby and we got "SLEAZY"  with KE$HA. it was actually alot of fun. I was having a bad day and I was going to cancel on them but I talked to one very special girlfriend and she convinced me to go. THANK YOU SOOO MUCH  FALICIA!!!

Anyways we got to see LMFAO, we werent expecting that one. They were amazing I was blindsided by their performance lol I thought they were just a bunch of goofey mofos but they were freaking good and made everyone just want to dance. I couldnt help but smile when they dance because Muffin has some of those exact dance moves and it just made me smile thinking about how cute and goofy Muffin is! KE$HA on the other hand... no bueno! I know she headlined the tour and I love the trashy girl to death but her stage presence sucked. She wasnt energetic, she wasnt even singing and she looked like she wasnt even trying, I was very disappointed. She did sing one of my favorite songs and ate a heart and had a mouth drpping with blood which was awesome but other than that LMFAO stole the show.
I made a playlist of my favorite songs from last night :) takes me back.
I was actually freaking out about how much refreshments are these days. 1. freaking beer was $12, a yard margarita which had little to no alcohol was $15 I mean seriously what do you people think we are made of? At least Shelby was there to pitch in to buy me my second beer!!! I only brought in a certain amount of money thinking it would be enough, but the woodlands thinks that just because we want to get sleazy with KE$HA we are made of money. Thanks Shelby for helping me get intoxicated I love you!!!

So now its time for some wedding gossip

Wedding Gossip

Muffin and I had a talk last night and I pitched in an idea and he loved it and I love it and I think its what we are going to go for!!!

We decided that our wedding was straying too far from what a wedding is supposed to be about so the new plan is...

We are going to get married in a quaint little white chappel in TN and everyone is invited, if you can come you are more than welcome. For those that do come we will have dinner and party all night long!!! I want it to be a quaint intimate affair. We are still dressing 50s and it will be awesome! The wedding date is still Oct 27, 2012 and we are sending out Save the dates close to November of this year so whoever wants to come to our wedding can start to save up. For those of you that cant come we are having a bachalor and bachalorette party each and we will be having a bridal BBQ with awesome food and drinks and friends and family and love. I couldnt be happier about our decision and Im glad I have some family members and friends on board with it already!!!

I cant wait, Oct 2012 please be good to us!!!

Fashion Inspiration

Recently I have been obsessed with changing my look to a more sophisticated version of me!!! I think my style Icons are going to totally inspire my tranformation into the hip 25's lol. Im so nervous about turning 25 this year I think I need a change in looks and hopefully my transformation is a success.

I think once Im in my right frame of mind and done with all this mind fuck business I will be ready to get back into fashion. I love fashion, clothes, accessories, makeup and shoes; its one of my passions. I think its time to feed the cravings!!!

Do you see what Im thinking? Im getting sooo excited about fall and winter I really have to start having fun with what I wear and how I look. I need to be more creative and just love myself and that starts now!!!

talk to you guys later, Im letting my creative juices flow!