Thursday, February 24, 2011


Mourn-ting Guys,
Ok so Iam having a great morning!!! I went to go work out last night with my aunt Cindy and it was totally hardcore I loved it.
I have a gym membership at the YMCA that she gave me for my birthday 2 yrs ago and I never use it. I couldn’t really use it because I was working two jobs and I was always sooo tired. Now I’m going to be using it all the time! Last night we went to this kickboxing class and it was amazing it felt so good to get to release all that built up anger and sweat, grunt, punch and kick I had so much fun. Anyways today I woke up sooo sore but it’s like a really good hurt and I’m proud of myself.
Last night my wedding shoes came in and they are beautiful I can’t wait to wear them. I tested them out to see if I could walk in them and I know for sure I’m going to need a lot of practice. So today I’ve been wearing my zombie stompers which are 4 inch heels with a platform and are zombies!!!

I have to practice as much as I can!!! I want to be as fabulous as a drag queen in those shoes. My stepdad told me I looked like a stripper; I guess I’m going in the right direction then lol. I love them; they are pink, sparkly, crazy, and not your typical wedding shoe which is PER-FECT!!!

So my great engagement:
Most people think I’m crazy I know they do. To understand me you have to love me and those who do love me know that I am completely out of the box. I met Mark four years ago we started dating after two weeks of knowing each other, and we didn’t even last an entire month. I did not talk to him or have any form of communication with him for four years. Then we started talking towards the end of July 2010 and by August 6th we were dating again. Not very long after that he proposes to me, it was actually in September that I remember, we talked about getting married. We were laying on my bed about to go to sleep and we started talking about wanting to be together forever then he told me that he wanted to marry me. Everyone thinks that this is a mistake, everyone except for my true friends. People have tried very hard to talk me out of marrying him but I know what my heart tells me, and it tells me that I love him. I may not have known him for very long but what I feel can’t be a lie. So far in the couple of months that we have been together he gets me better than anyone else, and he has also been there for me when I had no one. I know what my heart tells me, and it tells me that Mark is the man I am supposed to be with for the rest of my life, he will love me and take care of me and treat me better than any man ever will.
So all of you people please stop wasting your breath in telling me that it will never workout because this is my life not yours, and if it is a mistake, it’s my mistake and I’m the one that will have to deal with it not you. Why can’t you all just be happy for me, and see that this is the happiest I’ve ever been. I have never been in love before; I have never ever given guys the time of day. I had been hurt so badly physically and emotionally by men at a very young age that I really felt like I could never get close to any man. I never wanted to get hurt again and if someone was going to be hurt it was definitely never going to be me. This man, Mark L. Belle changed me forever and I know that he will do anything for me and I know that he loves me and this is why we are getting married. We may not have been together a really long time but we are definitely in love with each other and we compliment/balance each other out. We are meant to be and anyone who wants to come between us can just suck it!!!
When we started talking again in July we did talk about what we wanted in our lives and he told me that he never wanted to get married or have a family, I did. So I really didn’t think that we would ever last. But I knew that I at least wanted to give it another shot. Then in September he told me that he wanted to marry me. What changed his mind? My zest for life that’s what it was. That was his form of proposal to me, he did give me a pretty double heart necklace which means that I carry his heart in mine and instead of having an engagement ring I have an engagement necklace.
If you know me, you know that I am a hopeless romantic so this definitely didn’t feel real. In December I asked him if he was ever going to propose to me and he said “I already asked you to marry me now I just have to give you your ring which will be coming soon.” Um… No this just didn’t feel right, I didn’t feel engaged I felt totally jipped. I told him that I wanted a real proposal, a proposal that would knock me off my feet and that I couldn’t really believe the engagement until he came up with the most spectacular way to propose to me. This is where we are now in reality I am engaged but then again I want him to propose to me romantically. I want a big romantic engagement that he knows I will love. I love him so much and he knows that I’m a hopeless romantic and he’s getting so much better with planning our dates, and surprising me and I love it. Recently he has told me that he has already thought of the perfect way to propose to me that he knows I will love; now he just has to find the perfect time and come home to do it, Iam definitely excited, I want to be able to wear my engagement ring and feel engaged! I can’t wait to be married to this magnificent man and be Mrs. Christian Renee Belle!!! How freaking cute. There are so many things that make him MAGNIFICENT.

Mark loves me for ME. If I gain weight, go insane and have an emotional break down, get sick and whiny (which happens way too often) or force him to watch E! and chick flicks, he endures it and I feel the love seeping from within. He is always there for me, no matter what. He always thinks I’m sexy even if I’m just wearing pj’s, glasses and no makeup.

I love him more than I could ever imagine loving anyone else. I don’t get to spend enough time with him, I start to miss him as soon as we are away from each other be it just a minute. When I come home and see him on the couch waiting for me I just can’t wait to be in his arm. When he winks and smiles at me I just melt. I can't wait to have children that look like both of us I mean we are both gorgeous people.

He is a hard worker always has been always will be.  I feel comfortable knowing that he will always try his hardest to contribute to our household and help take care of us. He never misses a day of work no matter how bad I beg him to stay home with me he doesn’t because he wants to build us a better future. I know that one day we will have a beautiful home, with our amazing children and we will be the happiest married couple ever.

I am a dreamer always have been always will be and Mark will try his hardest to make all of my dreams come true. He helps me out with whatever I need help with, he backs me up when I need it, He defends me when he thinks he needs to, and he is always protecting me. He is always there for me when I need comforting.

We both have the same values, we have talked about family and children and we both have similar views on what we want, we have a lot in common but we are still so different from each other and I cant wait to get to spend the rest of my life with him and discover the most amazing man in the world

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