Im feeling a little better today. I have to, I have another interview today with the school I want to. This is a very important meeting where they tell me how much Im getting for school and when I start!!! Iam so nervous I need all the money I can get. Last night was awful. I was fine up until the moment I stepped inside of Krogers thats when I felt weak and sickly :(
But I think I might be getting better.
Yesterday I had the most interesting conversation with my boss about gay guys and straight women.
I was telling him how I think its ridiculous for Mark to be jealous of my gay guy friends. He told me it wasnt. He said that men are extremely insecure, even though they have a tough exterior, they hide mostly all other feelings and just show anger.
He also said that boyfriends mostly get jealous of a gay mans relationship with their girlfriend because there is a strong bod there. A bond like no other bond, one that is stronger than that of her with her girlfriends and one that is stronger than the one she has with her guy friends because he can be both. Most women tend to love their gay friends and do many things with them that they dont do with other friends and there is always that possability that they are secretly in love with their gays. Women sometimes think to themselves " Man, if only he wasnt gay" Women would be set if their gay friends would be straight because they would have the best of both worlds, so thats why Mark and many other guys in these situations are jealous.
I for one have many gay friends and I love them all very much. I dont know what it is, but its true I feel so much more secure about myself when I am around them. Iam a very insecure person but when Iam around my gay friends I not once think Im ugly, fat, unstylish I feel perfect. I dont know what it is I am just comfortable in the skin Im in with them. I wish I could feel like that always, especially with Mark. I have also been in love with 2 of my gay friends but I came to my senses long ago about how that would ever work out so its always strictly friendship with all of my gay friends.
I guess now I can see where Mark is coming from and I will try and stop his insecurities about me and my gays. I love them but I will never love them as much as I love my love muffin <3