Ive been thinking a lot about the wedding and Im just so scared that I'am making the wrong decisions about some things. I also wonder if Im hurting some people because of my decisions. I just wish that things were different sometimes. I feel so alone right now and actually Ive been feeling pretty alone for awhile. I know I have Mark but a girl sometimes needs her girlfriends and right now that's exactly what Im missing. I have not been working at Starbucks for 2 months and I haven't been a full time Starbucks employee in almost a year. Not being there all the time has made me feel like Im losing the most amazing friends I have ever had. I haven't really had much communication with them I miss my friends so much, I don't know if its just me but I feel so left out of their lives and it just hurts so much. I feel so alone, I thought that leaving Starbucks would be better for me and it is, financially but its detrimental to my friendships I had made there. I thought that when I left things were still going to be the same between us but I feel like Im the one putting in all the effort and Im just tired of a one sided friendship. Now since Ive quit trying, its not like it made anything better. Now I don't hear from any of them at all, its like whatever happened between us. I feel like when I see them now its like we are complete strangers and we are just drifting apart and that is not something Ive ever wanted.
I have been through a lot of hard times and some of those girls were there for me at my weakest most darkest moments in life and I wish they were still with me so I wont have to face these rough times alone.
I've managed to let many people slip out of my life that I was close to and I still miss them. I don't want these people and a select few Ive made in college to never ever part. I just want them to be a part of my life for the rest of my life. I hope things get better between us and things will go back to how they used to be because even though I have Mark i still miss my friends.
"" It is crazy to think how different your life would be if you never met those few peoplethat changed everything" - Anonymous
"" A friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself" - Jim Morrison
" Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave but impossible to forget" - Anonymous