Well Guys this past week is what we are all wondering about. What the hell has gotten into Christian and wow she really is back lol. I know its what you are all thinking. I mean there really wasn't a point not to get back into it. I mean I loved it, it took my mind off of things while I was typing and it also took a lot of things off of my chest so why not. I love writing, I may not be very good at it but I love it. I have kept a journal for about 5 years now and I love it. Writing really helps me out with stress and depression and to me its worth it even if I do suck lol. I guess what I want to talk about is what the hell is going on with me as of right now health wise and also let you know what went on this week that I didn't right about in each weekly post. Now on to my story...
So coming back to blogging wasn't hard at all I kind of focused more on some of the good things that were happening in my life, although there wasn't much. I mean I had Muffin, he was a big help with his advice and all his love and support, there was also my weight loss which motivated me alot but there were alot of other things happening that kept trying to crunch me down and keep me down.
The problems I was having were at Chuy's omg I am so happy I didn't quit my "real" job to work full time at that shit hole. I know that I said I hated my day job but dealing with people pretending to be your friend and then talking shit behind your back and being fake pretentious assholes really takes you back to the dark side of high school. When I left high school I was happy leaving that bullshit behind I mean seriously we are all adults here come the fuck on. At my day job shit really wasn't as bad as it seemed to me I was just so sick of having to sit at a desk and waste away, you know what I mean. I want to be doing something, I want to be working in an eviornment where there is room for growth and I wont be stuck being a receptionist for the rest of my life, but here, no this is all I will ever amount to be so of course I became depressed and wanted out. Seriously I never knew people could be so mean and insensitive I went home and cried almost every night I had to close at fucking Chuys. This is where alot of my stress came from but alot of it also came from my sister. Her negativity and complaining and insults really started to get to me. Dealing with the bullshit from Chuy's, being depressed about going no where with my day job and then having to listen to my sister compare her problems to mine, hate on Muffin and just bitch bitch bitch and make me sound like a shitty daughter, grandaughter and sister and then drop out of the wedding and not talk to me. Yes we got into a big fight Wednesday and she dropped out as my Maid of Honor, she told me how much she hated Muffin, that I was "too pretty" to be with him, that I could do better, that he is a selfish asshole and that since Im choosing him over her she wants nothing to do with my life and her children dont either. All this aweful negative shit started to get to me and then the back pains started. At first it started in my neck and head, I kept having constant headaches every day and this pain in my shoulders. The pain started to shoot down from my neck all the way down my spine to my hips and it just started to spread. Seriously I felt like I was getting sick. It was almost my last week at Chuys. Monday came and I felt like I was coming down with the flu. I mean everyone at my office had it and I had body aches and it felt like I was going to get a fever it was definately the flu. So Muffin rubbed icy/hot all over my body and bought me flu meds and it felt like I was getting better but why the fuck was my body still hurting. On the day before my last day at Chuys I felt so fucking bad. I could barely move my body hurt so much. I called in, they got my last 2 shifts covered and it was Sayonara Chuys. I didnt feel good though, I slept alot but I was always tired my body hurt so bad I would just cry and cry and cry and make Muffin feel bad for not beign able to do something about it. Friday was the worse the pain was so bad my hands, legs and feet started to go numb while Muffin and I were at Michael's(I wanted to make a Halloween wreath for our new place) and walmart buying crafting goods. I felt bad but I had promised that we would craft and carve a pumpkin and all this other fun stuff we kinda had to do it so I went home sat in bed and started my wreath, I finished it and we decorated the patio with Halloween lights, we carved a pumpkin and we watched Trick or Treat it was one of the best days ever. It was freaking late too and I started feeling shitty. I took 6 Advils and passed out. Saturday we ran errands and turned in my keys to my old apartment and never looked back. We went shopping for food for our party because we were going to throw a Dexter premier party and we needed junk food but the pains started and they were bad bad bad I felt like I couldnt walk anymore like the strength from my legs was diminishing, I needed to go home. When we got back home I just started crying but not just crying balling, screaming on my knees hunched over with my face on my thighs just rocking back and forth, it was bad. Muffin called my mom she said to go to the ER and thats what we did. They diagnosed me with viral pharyngitis gave me a steriod shot, pain shot and pain meds and sent me home. This is where Iam at right now. I feel good not super good but better than a couple of hours ago and its 3am. I think its time for bed we shall see what tomorrow brings us.
Thanks for listening guys.