Under the blacklight

Jenny Lewis - Carpetbaggers.mp3

Wow yesterday was a blasty blast I couldn't believe it. I had such a good time and I think that was just what I needed to get my mind off of a few things.  I had asked Marisa to come over to the house and come hang out with me and go swimming so I was so ready to get off work yesterday!

So i get home fairly early because I told her we were meeting at 6pm. I waited for Mark to get home so we could go to Walmart and buy stuff to drink. I mean when Marisa is coming over and you put us two girls together there has to be alcohol

I relapsed yesterday, I'm really disappointed in myself but I felt like I needed to destress. I asked Mark to buy us a pack of cigarettes and he smoked the whole pack between me and him. I feel very guilty about it, only because I was doing so good. The stress with my sister just got to me and all day yesterday I was crying on and off. Its only when I get very emotionally stressed that I need a cigarette. Its OK though because today is a new day and i wont be smoking for awhile. My first cigarette of the night came with an amazing high , I felt like I was floating and I just couldn't understand why I quit in the first place. I love smoking, it really calms me down but I'm so worried about getting seriously sick when I'm older, and because of vanity reasons. Also if I ever have children I don't ever want them to be influenced to smoke because of Mark and I so I think those are pretty valid reasons.

So anyways once we returned to Mark's house we got the party started. Anthony was there and his pseudo- girlfriend too, Rochelle. I think that's how you spell her name. I'm not very good with meeting new girls I'm very very skeptical because girls are the toughest people to make friends with, unless of course you are a guy. I don't know its a jealousy thing with all women, so the few girlfriends I have I know them pretty well, trust them and keep them because they are nothing like your average crazy jealous girls. I have seen her a couple of times at the house before and I totally want to get to know her. Iam very quick to judge people and when someone just doesn't set well at first meeting, I usually follow with caution because there is usually a reason for that feeling.

So it was three girls and two guys, we changed up (Marisa and I) and got our drink on early. We jumped in the pool and swam and talked and drank and ate, it was so much fun. Then when it started to get darker the guys jumped in the pool and Rochelle was being very self conscience about her body but we got her to put her feet in the pool. After that much Marisa ended up pulling her into the pool fully dressed. Then we were just goofing off drinking, telling stories and swimming. Then Anthony called their friend Caesar and he came over and we hung out with him. It was a lot of fun, I'm glad we did this because now we got to all know eachother a little better and I was distracted from my family drama. I love meeting mew people and getting to know Mark's friends. I cant wait to be married to him and live with him. We are going to be so happy and life is just going to be a blasty blast!